Life in Czeltistan


Friday, September 7th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 9 Comments

Last night’s entertainment at Casa Czelt: A tale of collegiate drunkenness, played out in four acts on our front stoop.

Act 1, 11:45pm: “Dude, I am so on fire.” — Between rounds of grabbing his girlfriend’s breasts and saying such sweet things as “Damn, girl” and “These things are real!”, a young man brags of his baseball prowess and his “at least .300″ batting average to the girlfriend and her roommate.

Act 2, 12:15am: “Wait! I’ll go get my camera!” — A young woman makes the decision she’d rather not proceed on with a night out at the bars without her camera. She tells her friends, “I’ll run home quick and get it.” Rather than observing basic safety practices and walking with her, they instead decide to stand in front of my building and yell such helpful phrases as “Goddamn, hurry up”, “Run!” and “Are you home yet?” (With that last one repeated at least five times during the lady’s run home.) Dialogues while Camera Girl is out of site include, “I’m so gonna take that thing into the bathroom with me” and “I’m just going to make faces at her all night.”

Act 3, 1:30am: “Is this our house?” — Three inebriated young men attempt to ascertain whether this particular block is the block on which they live. Five to seven minutes of loud discussion reveals it likely is not and that — quite possibly — they are actually walking in the wrong direction. One of the three briefly considers a cell phone call to another friend (offstage) to see if that friend might be able to shed some light on their address.

Act 4, 2:25am: “Dude, act like a man.” — A group of seven young men, two without shirts and one other carrying his pants rather than wearing them, take a 10-minute respite in their arduous journey homeward. Four sit in various places on our front stoop and lawn, singing random snippets of pop songs of the last five years. One other attempts to throw up on our tree, but instead finds himself face down on the strip of lawn between the sidewalk and the street. The remaining two cast members struggle to pick him up. They encourage him to walk home by insulting his manhood and imparting helpful wisdom like “Maybe we shouldn’t have had those last couple shots.”


Gosh, I love the first week the college kids are back. I really do. (And really, kids, why our stoop? Try the building next door for a change. They have several more stairs and a larger lawn. I’m sure they love good dramatic theatre as much as we do. Also: Can’t some of these conversations be carried on without stopping and sitting down? *sigh*)

Phrases I need to use more

Thursday, September 6th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 5 Comments

Said to me by a coworker today: “Let’s not sniff the gift fish.”

Guess the gift horse is on vacation.


Thursday, August 30th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 5 Comments

Got out of work tonight to find that the right third of my rear license plate had been sheared off my car. Car’s in ok shape — no bumper cracking or scratches or anything — but the plate’s messed up. And, of course, according to the DMV web site, it’ll take 6-8 weeks to get a replacement. Anyone want to start taking bets on how often I get pulled over between now and then for driving with plates without a registration sticker on them? Thanks, whomever.

Adding further insult to my evening: I got home tonight, walked to the living room and turned on the light, which then promptly burned out. Then I stepped in a lovely hairball my cat hacked up.

Oh, yeah. This night’s lookin’ great.

A little radio silence

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 9 Comments

It’s Irish Fest week. I’ll catch you all on Monday.

So very, very wrong.

Saturday, August 11th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 9 Comments

I stop by my local pizza place on the way home from the pub tonight. The parking lot of the bar across the street from there is PACKED and is bumpin’. (Yes, I said “bumpin’” and I meant it, yo.) (I didn’t really mean the “yo” thing, however. I apologize.) So I ask the bartender at the pizza place what’s up. He tells me “Ton Loc’s playing.”

Ton Loc.

Let me let that sink in.

Ton Loc.

That dude hasn’t had a hit since the late-80s. And really, he squeaked that second hit in there. He really should only get credit for “Funky Cold Medina” (and should be brutally punished for it 20+ years later). Yet the college students who live near me are over there, drinking copious amounts of Red Bull and cheering for him.

If I had not been drinking beer on and off since 3pm today, my solution would be to go get drunk and try to ignore it. Unfortunately, I’m home and don’t want any more beer. So I think I have to crank the episodes of Adam-12 I have left to watch and pretend I don’t hear what’s going on outside.

I think I’ve spent too much time on the internet.

Thursday, August 9th, 2007 | Fun With Teh Intarweb, Life in Czeltistan | 4 Comments

Had to go in search of a cute animal stock photo this morning. Realized that I am now completely incapable of looking through animal shots without mentally adding lolcat captions to them.

A moment in Czeltistan

Monday, August 6th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 2 Comments

Scene: Around 11pm on a warm, muggy night in Milwaukee. The windows in our building are open. My neighbor and I are both in our living rooms, which face the street.

My neighbor sneezes.

A woman walking her dog past the building says “Bless you.” My neighbor replies, “Thank you.” Both continue on with their business.

Quick update

Monday, August 6th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 1 Comment

Good news: Grandma’s off the ventilator and has all her tubes out, save for one IV. She got out of bed twice yesterday for meals (first meal after being out for a week: a cheeseburger, coffee and apple pie ala mode) and she’s awake and chatty and cracking jokes. (My brother: “How do you feel, Grandma?” Grandma: “With my hands.”) It’s likely that today she moves out of ICU and starts physical therapy to get her strength back.

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. And huge thanks to the ICU staff at Columbia St. Mary’s, who are an incredibly nice bunch of people.

Oh, and that reminds me… In yet another example of how small Milwaukee really is sometimes, one of Grandma’s ICU nurses is the woman who bought Grandma & Grandpa’s house when they moved into their apartment six years ago. (For those of you not from Mke, that house is on the northwest side of the city, Grandma now lives on the south side of the city and the hospital is near downtown and could not be farther east unless it were on a barge in Lake Michigan.)

I swear I’m not intentionally ignoring you

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 | Design-y Bits, Life in Czeltistan | 5 Comments

To catch you up on what your Czeltistani government has been up to in the past few weeks:

- There’s been work, most of it involving reading small type extolling the specific virtues of bicycles.

- There have also been meetings, mostly involving people of Irish descent. Rumor has it there is some sort of Irish-related festival coming up in the near future. (Far too near, considering how many volunteer issues I still need to deal with.)

- Unfortunately, there has been a fair amount of time spent at the neighboring hospital. My grandmother has pneumonia and is not reacting well to her treatment and may possibly have other medical issues that haven’t yet been discovered. We spent 6 hours or so with her in the ER on Sunday and she was admitted later that night. Tuesday she was moved to the ICU, which is just never a good thing. So now we let the medical staff do their thing while we wait and hope and keep our fingers crossed.

- And, since I haven’t had any free time to spare, the Czeltmobile decided it needed not only new brakes, but also new rotors. Hooray. So I took the day off work to take the car in for some automotive love. Then I took myself to the Oriental for a little movie love (because, clearly, I hadn’t spent enough money today). Go see Sunshine. It’s lovely. (Well, except for the irritating spaceship noises. Space is a vacuum, folks. Ships don’t rumble out there.)

- There was a Mighty Deerlick show. I spent most of the evening yawning and trying to stay awake long enough to see all three bands. I think I’m going to have to turn in my Rock ‘n’ Roll Lifestyle card now that I’m old. *sigh*

- There’s also been a bit of bill paying, laundry, grocery shopping and such, but you needn’t concern yourself with these things.

So that’s that. We should return to our regular broadcast schedule shortly. Meantime, I leave you with one link. Shirt.woot! is live now. Works the same as Woot! — one item a day, dirt cheap, for sale until it’s sold out. Shirts so far have been great. (If you go to the blog at the site, you can see thumbnail images of past shirts.) Enjoy.

One more day. One more day. One more day.

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007 | Design-y Bits, Life in Czeltistan | No Comments

Catalogs release tomorrow.

Oh, internets, I miss you so.

Happy birthday to me…

Sunday, July 22nd, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 14 Comments

I’ll let you run through the rest of the song in your head.

Taking my sunburned self off to the stadium to see if Barry Bonds can do his thing today. (If he’s even playing.) There’s part of me that wants him to ‘coz it’d be cool to say “I was there when…”, but there’s another part of me that says “You’re in Milwaukee. You leave Hank Aaron’s records alone.”

Also: Big thanks to Mother Nature for the fine birthday weekend weather. Any year it’s not 90 and humid is okey doke by me. This again next year, too, please.


Friday, July 13th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 2 Comments

I’m having one of those weeks. (And now it’s Friday the 13th. What could possibly go wrong?)

Just somehow deleted not only the entry I was in the middle of writing, but also the last one I posted. I blame frantic clicking on my part. That’s what I get for trying to sneak in a blog entry when I’m this busy, I guess.

So to recap the one I accidentally nuked: Bar trivia at Paddy’s. I got a $20 bar tab out of it. Yay, me. (And Glenn, I think it was one of those “trivia guy showed up, trivia and karaoke ensued” things. I don’t know that there was much planning for this, but check with Patty to see what’s up for future nights.)

And to recap the one I was writing: Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek, Trek. All three catalogs due in less than 2 weeks. Production, photography, retouching, acct mgmt and digital asset mgmt personnel will be sleeping at their desks until then. The designers have a little head start on us, so they might actually see their houses occasionally before the release. Lucky bastards. (I kid. They’ve already been cranking on this for a few weeks.)

So, um, yeah. Not much in the way of web surfing time, which means little blogging time and few, if any, entertaining goodies delivered to you from deep in the heart of Czeltistan. I’ll post when I can, but I apologize in advance for the dead air.


Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | No Comments

My condolences go out to my godmother, Pat, and her husband, Ivan, on the passing of Pat’s mother this week. I never got the chance to meet her (or met her when I was far too young to remember it), but I’ve heard a lot about her from both my mother and Pat. She sounds like she was a lovely person. I’m sure she will be greatly missed.

I read the headlines, I win prizes

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | No Comments

Yay, me. I won the first-ever The Morning News headlines quiz. Be gettin’ me a nice, new TMN t-shirt in the deal.

I could get used to this whole ‘get rewarded for something you already do’ way of life. (Ok, so the quiz part is new, but the reading their headlines twice a day isn’t, as you can probably tell by the fact I swipe so many of my postings from them.) Now if I can just find some way to get good swag from other sites I spend too much time on…

One already

Friday, June 29th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 4 Comments

Young Miss Jaimeson turns 1-year-old today. Hardly seems possible, as she was just born the other day. (No? Huh. Where has the last year gone?)

Happy birthday, munchkin. And slow down a little. Just watching you run around tires out your auntie.

Now we are five

Friday, June 22nd, 2007 | Bloggity goodness, Life in Czeltistan | 11 Comments

Believe it or not, this little blog turns 5 on Sunday. I’d write something pithy for the occasion, but I’m tapped out this week, so I’m taking the lazy blogger’s way out and just doing a highlights post. (Actually, it’s probably not any easier than just writing something new. There’s little that’s more tedious than sifting through five years’ worth of your own blogging.)

For those of you just joining us here in the People’s Republic of Czeltistan, here’s are some little milestones and other goodies from the last five years:

Tales from Czeltistan

Random amusements

Thanks, everybody for stopping by over the last five years. I started this thing solely for my amusement and it still entertains me greatly to know that other people come to visit and that I’ve made a rather substantial number of real-life friends through the blog.

Check us out — we’re not even remotely famous!

Sunday, June 17th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 4 Comments

Christyl & I went to the Milwaukee Mass Portrait shoot yesterday. Got ourselves a shot right down front. It was really hot and very, very sunny. A fair number of people showed up, but it would have been nice if there were a ton more.

We saw the test proof after the shoot and we’re easily recognizable, so we’ve just made ourselves a tiny piece of Milwaukee history. And Jeff of The Architectural Dance Society sent me this link from the Journal Sentinel. It’s not the most-flattering shot of either of us, but you can see both Christyl and me. Find the waving guy in blue, down front on the left. I’m just behind him to the left, Christyl’s a bit right from there. You can see the top of her head and her sunglasses peaking over the guys in front of us.

I got a few shots at the event. Nothing that’s going to win any awards or anything, but photos nonetheless.

Postcards will be out… um… sometime, and you’ll be able to pick them up free of charge at all local Lena’s groceries, Alterra Coffee cafes and El Rey.

Next step – rocket science!

Wednesday, June 13th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | 2 Comments

The building behind the building where I work is undergoing restoration. I just looked out the window in time to see one of the construction guys over there using a cutting torch to remove pieces of the fire escape he was standing on. It was left hanging by one corner bolt at the bottom of the section he cut. Then he climbed down the ladder to the garage rooftop below him (which put him at about chest level with the fire escape deck), grabbed the remaining section of attached fire escape with one hand, then leaned over the edge of the garage and kicked the hanging bit of fire escape into the dumpster.

I’m sure that’s exactly how OSHA recommends you do that job. Can’t see how anything could possibly go wrong there.

Something a little different

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan | No Comments

Milwaukee Mass Portrait

I found a flyer for this event at the bookstore over the weekend. Sounds like it could be kind of fun, so Christyl & I are going to show up. We don’t have any illusions about actually being able to pick out which people we are in the photo, but it’ll be fun to just say we were there. I doubt there will be as many people at this photo as in Weegee’s photo, but we can try.

I need a ruling here

Friday, June 8th, 2007 | Kitty!, Life in Czeltistan | 3 Comments

I keep a stash of newspapers around the house and use them as a kind of mat under the cat boxes. So I get home tonight and realize one of the cats has missed (or likely, ignored) one of the boxes and just gone on the paper instead. She’s gone right on a picture of Milosevic.

Can I actually be angry about this? I’m thinking not so much.