A bear of very little voice

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 | Life in Czeltistan

If anyone’s seen my voice, could they shoot me an email? It’s been missing since some time late Saturday. Last seen on the East Side or downtown. This temporary one I have now doesn’t work as well and I’ve been told it sounds like either Marge Simpson or Demi Moore. We can’t have that.

5 Comments to A bear of very little voice

Dad
3/14/2007

Start using an accent. It’ll distract their attention.

Sherri
3/15/2007

If the accent doesn’t work out, I’ve got a few suggestions. My voice leaves home to go walkabout on a regular basis.

First, silence. Don’t use the temp voice. Use a note pad. It’s like writing love notes to your voice. Voices can’t resist that for long.

Second, lots of water and less caffiene. Your voice might be suffering from sleep deprivation and be off somewhere trying to nap. Or it might have a hangover.

Third, nice, pure air.

Last of all, make sure you don’t have any sort of infection. Voices do not like cooties and will vacate as soon as cooties move in next door. I know, it’s a terribly kind of bigotry, but what can you do?

czeltic girl
3/15/2007

Thanks for the tips, Sherri. My voice used to go on vacation a lot when I was younger and did lots o’ singing. It’s been good for years, so it was just a matter of remembering how I used to fix it. (Answer: Not talking, lots of tea.) Now if only I could convince my coworkers to stop asking me questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.

Dad
3/15/2007

Pretend you’re playing Baby Boomer Trivial Pursuit. Make all answers either “Margaret Thatcher” or “The White Album”. You can write them down and just hold up the appropriate one.

Once your voice comes back, use that accent that Madonna uses. It will cut down on conversations with co-workers.

Ivan
3/15/2007

As you may or may not know, I lived in Germany for 9 years..While schnapps may be a “cure” there is still a better one that was prescribed and delivered to me many times by my German friends..

Take tomato soup, add a “generous” shot of gin, some sour cream and a little dried parsley.. WORKS WONDERS on throat,nose and the upper respiratory system..
:)

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