Things I learned at rummage sales this morning

Friday, May 16th, 2008 | Uncategorized

Today I found out that yard sales, like real estate, have their own euphemisms for things. I know the real estate codes — cozy = small, etc. — but the yard sale ones are new to me. (And shame on me for that. I work in advertising. I should have guessed at some of these.) Here’s what I learned:

  • “Huge, multi-family sale”: Two families, at opposite ends of the block. Four tables of crap each.
  • “Many collectibles”: This one has two meanings, apparently. One is “faded, scratched-up Thermos bottles from 1980s lunchboxes that we think we can sell for $10-$20 each.” The other is “crap we found in a box in the basement, covered in 40 years of dust (which we didn’t bother to clean off) that used to sit on Grandma’s shelf. She may have gotten them with S&H green stamps.”
  • “Artwork”: “Historical” maps, which are just pages from an old atlas, and string art of Hummels.
  • “Collectible plates”: Things people gave us Christmas cookies on. You like Santa, right?
  • “Antique”: Rusty

I also learned that people think crappy, silvertone 4×6″ frames are worth $6, despite them being cheaper than that brand new at Target. And I’m sorry, guy at the first sale I went to today, but even though I find a game from the 1950s or 60s called “Donkey Party” to be wildly amusing, I’m not paying $10 for it. It’s “pin the tail on the donkey” and somehow a paper donkey picture that’s punched full of holes from multiple uses doesn’t merit that kind of spending. (Still: “donkey party.” Heh.)

Ah, well. At least it’s a gorgeous day outside and I’m not at work. Gonna stop at one more sale on the way up to Mom’s later. Maybe I’ll find something really cool. I’m not holding my breath, though. All is not lost, though. Mom’s got some nice little groundcover plants for me so the back yard here in Czeltistan will finally have something besides patchy grass and dirt. (Nearly complete shade: yards love it!)

1 Comment to Things I learned at rummage sales this morning

Grizzly Dad

I know exactly what you mean. I blame ebay and Antiques Road Show. When I have garage sales, I price stuff to move, dammit. Also, what’s up with all the old crutches? THROW THOSE OUT!

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