Why they don’t let me plan Olympic opening ceremonies

Saturday, August 9th, 2008 | Uncategorized

Sure, last night’s opening ceremonies in Bejing were nice and all (I heartily approve of lighting off that many fireworks, though may I just point out that they probably set themselves back a day on the air quality thing with that much smoke), but I’d have made a few changes. I’d have had the last runner hand off the torch to a guy in the first tank in a row of three tanks. The tanks would then continue down the track until it came to a guy with a briefcase. (Pause for dramatic photo ops.) Then the gun turret on the first tank would raise and fire the torch up into the arena’s torch for the final lighting ceremony.

Oh, come on. You know you’d have enjoyed that every bit as much as I would have.

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