Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 | You Call This News?

About a year ago, I attended a meeting of one of the neighborhood groups for the area where I live. I went partly ‘coz it was at Paddy’s and partly because their guest that month was our neighborhood liaison officer from the local police station. I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to meet the person who fills that role in the area where I live and own property.

While I was at the meeting, I signed up for the group’s email list. I haven’t attended any meetings since that one, but I still get the emails. Every now and then I think about taking myself off their email list. They’re nice people, but… how shall I put this delicately… they need hobbies. Hobbies other than sitting around talking about what they think of the sign at the local stop-n-rob or cars they’ve seen parked in one place too long. But just about the time I think of unsubscribing, I get one of their emails and it makes me laugh and I decide to remain on the list.

Today I got one of those emails.

One of the local restaurants suffered a fire last year. Once they figured out what they were up against with repairs and such, and in view of the current economy, they decided to close rather than remodel and reopen. A couple of months ago, a new pub & restaurant announced they’d be opening up in that space. The new place will be a British pub, owned by a Brit, and named “The Dog’s Bollocks.”

So today, I get my copy of the local neighborhood group’s email. Item B on this month’s agenda for them is the following: “Discussion of possible actions related to new information about the proposed name for the new British style inn moving into the space formerly occupied by Elliot’s Bistro. Since meeting with the owner about the project, we have learned that the name uses some rather vulgar British slang.”

OH NOES!!! A pub! In an entertainment district! Near a college! Using *gasp!* a cheeky name! Won’t someone think of the children??

I was pretty indifferent to the pub prior to this, but I think I’ve just become a fan. Added potential for neighborhood comedy: It’s just down the block from the Tool Shed, which is a local erotic boutique (and was the last thing that got this neighborhood group’s panties in a bundle) (oh. ha. see what I did there?). God, I hope the two places decide to co-sponsor something — perhaps the dodgeball tournament at this year’s Summer Soulstice on North Ave.

7 Comments to Kerfuffle!!


arghhh..better sell the property. There goes the value.


I suppose it’s a good thing we live in a relatively literate society and pub signs don’t, of necessity, merely depict in images the objects designated by their names.


If somebody opens an auto shop that specializes in street rods, you have the possibility of a dandy scavenger hunt.


No one would ever do something like that around HERE! All WE get are exploding meth labs.


See, I saw the sign this weekend, and hate the place based on the complete punctuation FAIL. The sign doesn’t read, “The Dog’s Bollocks,” nor “The Dogs’ Bollocks,” or even, “The Dogs! Bollocks!” — just “THE DOGS BOLLOCKS.”

The neighborhood list quote, however, implying that the Biddy Crew had NO IDEA what “bollocks” were… now you’ve got a fail cagematch. Good luck!

czeltic girl

Miriam — The missing punctuation makes me twitchy, too. I can’t look at it. I’m tempted to leave a note under the door with a correction.


I think it’s time we stop being polite about such matters. Break out the spraypaint!

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